Christmas sucks so might as well get this over with. Santa Claus is a drunk fuck and he makes coca cola from his a-hole.
My true theory on Santa Claus is so Santa is actually Satan.
Rearrange the letters and you get S A T E N right now so spell it wrong.
When Santa is existed he was there so hi and by the way learn to drive ya dumbo I'ven't've gotten no time.
Santa is actually ok fuck you driver, sorry im texting this.
Ill use voice damn it
Santa learned ninjitsu tutor I mean november tit
NOTIFICATION TOOL
I'm texting this again, I meant to spell HE LEARNED "NOT TICKED".
So he doesn't get ticked off by kids bullcraps and stuff.
He killed someone but I haven't figured out the name for him yet.
His name was Mr. Atypo
That wasn't a typo, well his name is a typo, I mean no, it's not A TYPO, IT'S ATYPO.
I need more time to think this theory uKAOKROKSAOKROKSJRKmgdkkfmdsklgdg
Oh shit this is some guy's phone...
Why's he writing a Santa Claus theory that doesn't even make sense?
WHAT IS TROLLPASTA?
This seems nice, hmm, "The Tale of Shrek".
This looks good, I'll see it.
WHAT THE SHIT!?
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We're sorry, but this phone seems to be lost, and we are locking it.
Wait, The Tale of Shrek?
Hmm...